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March 2015

31/3/2015

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My 2015 workbook + self portrait I made surrounded by descriptors and compliments to remind me I'm wonderful + three companion notebooks + companion monthly review & dream sheet & action plan (I make it myself) + my core desired feelings
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Second-hand book I bought online. Anne Shirley is my Goddess (see here and here! ♥)
★ Running in the forest. It's uncomfortable, it kicks my butt, and there's a particular point in the forest trail that triggers my anxiety every time I approach it and I can't stop thinking of quitting. But there's another voice yelling inside my head along side the fear voice, and it screams "Keep going! You've never died past that point and you never will!" and more than half the time I keep going and reach my destination. Some days, the fear voice & anxiety win. I have found that running makes me feel alive, and also it allows me to exercise the voice inside my head that says I can do things.
★ Ginger & turmeric tea.
★ Rewatched one of my favourite movies, A Knight's Tale, cuddling with my love in bed.
★ Fresh mimosas on my altar, picked from the fields outside town.
★ Wonderful messages from blog readers. Thank yoooouuuu!!!
★ Marvel movie marathons with my love.
★ Went to Ikea with mom and had a lot of fun. 
★ Feeling creatively fulfilled.
★ Reaching goals I wrote in my 2015 workbook.
★ Obsessing over my workbook, as usual ;P I spend hoooouurrss with it, doodling, dreaming and planning.
★ Synchronicities! Woah!
★ It snowed again.
★ Alone time watching Road to Avonlea & Hart of Dixie in bed all cosy.
★ Making body scrubs in my kitchen & then, of course, using them! I'm kinda waiting for the day when my love yells at me "Get all this shit out of the shower! Why do you need so much stuff!" because seriously, the tub hanger is so full of homemade soaps and conditioners and scrubs and stuff that I've begun putting the new jars all around the tub cause there's not enough space for my creations. I'm afraid one day I'll hear "Enough! It's either the mason jars or me! Choose now!" Uh-oh...  Well, fortunately, I haven't heard a single complaint yet.
★ Jessie Cave. Because she makes me feel I'm not alone in having a cuckoo mind containing a cuckoo world.
★ How much I laugh with my love. We have so much fun together.
★ Changed the home decor from winter colors to spring colors. And these color palettes are totally subjective. A color that I associate with spring, someone else might associate it with winter. Right now I'm living amongst greys, whites, blues & reds.
★ Devoted two entire days to playing computer games, and I am not sorry. I needed a deep brain sabbath, and that vacation did me wonders.
★ Late night heart-to-heart conversations with C in bed.
★ Playing basketball with C. 
★ Buying eco-friendly & ethical clothing.
★ Signing up for an online personal development program & having fun doing the homework.
★ Strawberries have arrived to the markets, finally!!!
★ My new lavender plant. Welcome to the family!
★ A hilarious saturday lunch with family where I almost peed myself, and certainly left the table in tears and coughing and gasping for air.
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One extremely cold day
☽ ♦ ☾
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My Spring Time Holy Grail

23/3/2015

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Hello Spring!!!


Wishes, Dreams, Goals

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✿ Have picnics ✿ Visit villages covered in greens and flowers ✿ Eat fresh healthy food from the farmer's market ✿ Plant seeds in the garden ✿ Watch the sunlight that filters through the leaves of trees ✿ Be naked indoors ✿ Cultivate poppies in the garden ✿ Repot the lavender my father gave me a few days ago ✿ Play harmonica on warm friday evenings when home alone ✿ Repaint my bedroom ✿ Buy a rose bush ✿ Have no interest in preserving the status quo ✿ Surround myself with bees!!!! ✿ Wear flowers in hair ✿ Sunbathe with a fun book ✿ Make spring-themed pages in journals ✿ Dance to faerie music ✿ BE a human playground ✿ Stare at hares crossing me on field trails ✿ Make blanket forts ✿ Press flowers in books ✿ Spend a lot of time with my love ✿ Build a spring shrine in a corner of the bookshelf ✿ Play basketball outdoors ✿ Arrive home with fingernails dirty everyday ✿ Eat pears ✿ Drink plenty of freshly made fruit juices ✿ Fill the house with fresh flowers ✿ Buy hair barrette from Nolemire ✿ Make a bird feeder and put it in the garden ✿ Row a boat ✿
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Images: Don Brubacher // unknown // bmenton // Tim Norris // nettisrb // luftschloss // Theodor Kittelsen // Henri-Camille Danger // thimble and violet // Kerry M // AnchoAnchi 
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Create a Personal Sacred Space in your Home

17/3/2015

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Fresh mimosas on my bedroom altar, hand-picked from a tree during a morning walk
I rarely socialize with the people in my house, and I spend the majority of life locked up in my bedroom; it's a sanctuary. It's peaceful and safe in there. It's also warm, cosy and full of creative energy bouncing up and down, left and right. This energy, I carry with me and pour onto the outside world. 

But I don't stop with the bedroom. I also have a sacred space inside the room, like one of those Russian dolls. I build altars and shrines obsessively; I've done this since I was a child -not knowing that that was called a shrine, of course. I've always felt the need to sanctify every space I come in contact with. 

I feel most inspired in places of reverence and silence and contemplation and beauty. I've always loved sittting inside churches and libraries precisely for that reason.

I have many hidden shrines all over my room -nobody would ever suspect every single item in every space I own has been carefully studied and selected ;) And then I have the altar. 

For me, a sacred space must be alive. What I've observed from other people who share their altars online -don't you love peeking at people's lives?! I do!!!- is that their little constructions seem to be an inert space. They don't sit at it to do anything. People just select a bunch of objects with the "right" colors and symbols, arrange it all to look pretty and then never interact with it. I can't do such a thing. Why? Because I'm too pragmatic and hate collecting stuff. Everything I own, I must have an active relationship with it; everything must be alive and have a purpose. When I don't have a relationship with that thing, its presence weighs on my mind; it's clutter. 

Another thing I've observed is that people tend to have a bazillion objects on their altars, to the point where the entire surface of the table is covered in stuff. When I see that, I think "But how do you put a book on that surface? How do you work without space to even prop your elbows?"

My altar is quite small, so I am mindful of the objects I place on it. I need enough space for a big book or a notebook, so I can read and write. I need enough space so my arms can move and not hit candles or statues and break stuff. I'd rather have nothing more than one candle and one pinecone, because it is crucial for me that my sacred space allows for physical activity.


Claim a corner -or an entire room- in your home and MAKE it yours.
1. Ask yourself: 
What do I want to do in this place? 
Meditation only? Reading? Journaling? Then you know you'll need to sit either on a cushion on the floor or use a chair. 
Spell casting only? Maybe in this case you'd prefer a regular table instead of a coffee table, so you can work standing up.
Only YOU can answer this question and come up with the tools you need.
2. Personalize. What would make this place feel very you?
Brainstorm objects (including ones you already have) that would give you a sense of safety (hello sanctuary!). Don't forget to pay attention to the colors you choose. Personally, I rotate the color of my altar tablecloth according to the seasons. Why? Because being attuned to nature is the central piece of my spiritual practice. 

I've read many articles where they encourage the use of cool colors (blue, lavender, etc.) because, supposedly, they enhance relaxation and peace. Not for me. I find red extremely relaxing during the cold months because it brings me the warmth that nature lacks at that particular time of the year. So remember that just because someone tells you to stick to the traditional symbolic association for something, you don't have to follow that advice if it doesn't feel right. You are your own authority when it comes to symbolism in your life.

Many articles and books also encourage you to keep your space decor symmetrical. Again, that's not me. My personal style is closer to The Burrow than to Malfoy Manor. I tried doing symmetry but it always made me feel as if the space was too majestic, as if I take life too seriously. I need a space which is clean and decluttered, but somewhat crooked. That resonates with me, so that's what I do. If your thing is symmetry, go ahead! Whatever brings you peace and inspiration, do that.
3. Keep it decluttered. You want to create a feeling of care & clarity. Having a cluttered space will make your mind and spirit feel uncomfortable, weighed down and stressed.

Moreover, the act of cleaning it up a few times a week helps me connect with the place. So cleaning is far from a chore, it's an exercise in connection!
4. Other ideas to accessorize your space:
☀Fresh flowers ☀ Candles ☀ Crystals and rocks ☀ Incense ☀ Things collected from nature during hikes (pinecones, seashells, leaves, fallen nests, feathers...) ☀ Journals and pens ☀ Texts and books you're currently reading on philosophy or spirituality (or anything you fucking like! It's YOUR space) ☀ Little notes to self folded and kept in a bowl or box ☀ Affirmation jar or gratitude jar or gratitude journal ☀ Crafts you've made ☀ Images that inspire you ☀ Jewelry that makes you feel Godlike ☀ Potted plants ☀ A terrarium or a fairy garden ☀ Garlands ☀ Intention jars you've made (I only keep one at this point: the one I made for love before I met my beau) ☀ Figurines or statues that inspire you ☀ The bottle of perfume you wear only in the sanctuary ☀ A CD you play often when you're in this corner doing your thing ☀ Love letters you've received, or love letters you've written but will never send...


Your imagination is the limit, my friends.
Make it cosy and true.
♦ ✧ ♦
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February 2015

4/3/2015

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I turned 30 in early February and, as always, it was a quiet day. I love that my family is tiny, and I have almost zero friends, which makes me feel free. I remember the agony of school days, when I was surrounded by people on an everyday basis -we were never true friends, just humans I casually hung out with- and I dreaded my birthday because that meant being the center of attention. Even getting attention from my parents sent me into a downward spiral of angst. 

Nowadays, the attention phobia still rules my life, but at least I don't hate my birthday. I try to keep that day extremely quiet, by hanging out with my family of 4 members and nobody else. Well, or should I say 5 members, counting my love. Fortunately, nobody made a big deal.

I crafted the magnificent chocolate cake with my powerful hands, and spent a couple of hours laughing and debating with family on the sofas. Yeah, as usual we ended up screaming and almost fighting over political matters. Welcome to my family unit, where we cannot ever have a fight-free hangout, and we can never not talk about politics, religion, philosophy and history. That's our idea of fun.

When my dad finally stopped yelling, my mom said "Weeeeell, we've fixed the world's problems tonight. Now let's go to sleep". Isn't it funny how passionate some of us get with discussions ;) We don't really solve anything, and we don't really change the other person's mind, nor do they change our mind. But it's the discussions themselves that fire me up. I like tossing ideas back and forth with somebody else, without an agenda beyond exploration of the ideas presented on the table between us.

And with this said, guess what: it was on my birthday that snow came to this land :) It was beyooootyFULL.

After that, the weather's been getting warmer and warmer, and I'm feeling called to change my home decor already to welcome spring. But I'm holding back. I'll do it on the equinox. I need to exercise self restraint! Come on! I can do it! I don't want to wish the end of winter away. I want to savor it while it's still here. I refuse to live wishing bits of life away. 
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Highlights:

★ Went to La Feria de la Candelaria with C. For the first year ever, I didn't buy anything. And it felt good. This market is the one time a year when I buy a few crystals I've been saving up for since the previous year, and handmade incense, and herbs, and resins, and artisan jewelry. But this time I just didn't feel like anything was calling me. So I bought myself a gorgeous hat from lucymir a few days later.
★ During one of my crafty nights in my sacred space, made a love token for C. I just have this urge to make a million crafts for people, and there aren't enough hours in a day.
★ Relaxing hot showers at 10pm.
★ Woke up to snow!!!
★ Running twice a week consistently. I really love it! And every week I shatter a new personal record ;)
★ Sleeping with my head on C's shoulder and hugging his chest.
★ Lush's Rub Rub Rub exfoliant. Best. shit. ever. I use it both on skin and hair. Since it contains sea salt, it gives hair a lot of volume. 
★ Delicious sweet green juices made with ingredients from the farmer's market. High quality + cheaper than the regular store.
★ Having saturday mornings free again.
★ Found the wall clock of my dreams that I had been looking for fruitlessly for a year. I don't lie when I say I'm picky. It had to be that one or none. And voilà! Found it casually in a store while hanging out with C and his father.
★ Had a blast -many blasts actually- with my mom during weekends.
★ Sex. This doesn't need an explanation. It's bliss.
★ C's soft voice over the phone. 
★ Received 16 euros out of nowhere! I had no idea that was coming my way. Thank yoouuu! 
★ My new blanket for spring & summer that I can't wait to use *excited* I dunno about you, but I get ridiculously happy with furniture and home stuff and nesting. 
★ Re-reading Wicked, one of my all-time favourites.
★ Watching The Casual Vacancy in bed with my sister and commenting & dissecting everything.
★ The Witcher Adventure Game, which C introduced me to and now we're hooked. Or at least I am! Every time he comes over, we play for hours and hours. But as fun as it is, it's funner because we play together -or rather, against each other. Also, C dances to the background music and that's the most hilarious thing I've ever witnessed xD
★ Rewatching Chocolat in bed, twice. It's one of my favourite films.
★ Productive 1 hour train trips (to visit my mom) where I get to read books I usually don't have the time for.
★ Fun trips to Barcelona city with C, and coming across mysterious furniture stores. We already picked everything we want for our future castle.

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☽ ♦ ☾
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    about Alexandra

    Born and raised in Barcelona city, now living in a small town. 

    Inspired by storytelling, nature, faery lore, gothic architecture, art nouveau,  (mostly dead) writers and thinkers, European landscapes, Rien Poortvliet, road trips,  myths and the occult.

    This blog contains true stories, made-up stories (it all leads to truth), visual and auditory communication, art, poetry, lists, the transpersonal, sounds for the heart, & my own reality tunnel. 
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