I began 2015 exhausted and ridden with a weird social anxiety I hadn't felt in a long while, and wanted nothing more than to stay in a cocoon with my parents, sister, boyfriend and dog. In the last few weeks, I stretched and challenged myself to go places and meet up with people, mostly out of curiosity for those experiences, and also because staying home for too long is not something that brings me peace, quite the contrary. If I stay in a cocoon for too long, I become restless as the feeling of comfort envelops me; I start to feel I'm wasting time I'll never get back.
It's difficult sometimes to be able to discern when leaving the house is scary yet healthy, and when it's a fear of missing out and you push yourself mindlessly to go out without looking at the state of your mind, body, spirit and emotional realm. I sit with myself often in order to figure out the difference and not allow the fear of missing out to dictate my decisions.
★ C, with whom I can talk about absoluuutely anything and never feel judged.
★ Soap nuts. Seriously, I love them and deserve a mention.
★ My Pale Moon sweeping skirt by Naomi Nowak. I wear it all the time because it's so comfortable and soft.
★ Attended a role playing club for the first time in my life. It was fun! I'm still learning how to play, and it gets interestinger and interestinger as my brain processes rules and tricks. It's double fun cause I go with my boyfriend, so we get to spend quality time together.
★ Sex sex sex & true intimacy.
★ Chocolate perfume.
★ My Leonie workbooks. I love spending hours upon hours plotting my months and life at large.
★ Drinking stevia tea (leaves harvested from my garden last october and dried by myself ♥) in my room surrounded by candles, in silence, staring at the walls.
★ Long lazy cozy mornings in bed with C, limbs entangled.
★ Studying the art of seduction.
★ Chinese green tea.
★ C's emotional intelligence. How did I get so lucky.
★ The livestream workshop with Shiloh Sophia. It was uplifting, happifying and beautiful.
★ Small coffees after lunch. New habit? I'm turning into a proper Mediterranean human.
★ Picked up running again after two years of quitting because of injuries. Some days I go alone to run in the forest, and sometimes I go with C. I'm really really really loving that time for myself and it's helping a lot with my anxiety.
★ Splurged on rose essential oil, finally! I saved for months to get it :)
★ Licorice root tea.
★ C's delicious kisses on my neck. Yes my love please continue... yuuum...
★ Mimosas are already blooming everywhere! They're small, but I'm so excited! (in case you don't know, they're my favourite flower)
★ Elven homes and fashion.
★ The videogame of The Walking Dead season 1. Omg so good!
★ Cuddling with my love while we watch gamers on youtube and we cry with storytelling videogames.
★ My dad went to Córdoba to visit his long-distance girlfriend and my life was incredibly peaceful for five days x)
★ Falafel dates.
★ Dinner with C's friends and listening to fascinating stories of eco living and crafting and DIY and all that good shit I like.
★ Lunch with C, J and M. Falafel!!!! I die.
★ Watching Wes Anderson movies with C, J and M in the livingroom, and cuddling with C as he finds the movie fascinating whereas I hated it. Seriously, I dislike all Wes Anderson films and yet I keep watching everything he makes simply because the aesthetic is sublime and I like to enjoy it like candy. I wish the scripts (plot, dialogue, characters) were more interesting to satisfy my brain.
★ Watching films with my parents late at night. This month we watched Dorian Gray (2009) and Woody Allen's Manhattan Mystery Murder (1993); I disliked both.
★ My sister turned 25 and as always I made the cake for the party. I like that, in my family, we do everything small and chill and intimate. It's funner that way, in my opinion.